Finding the Writer Within

July 12, 2015

I’ve been away from my diary for a bit; like most of us, it can be hard to find the time to accomplish everything that needs to be achieved in the hours we’re given each day. If I look back on it, I guess I’d have to admit to a fair amount of wasting time, but what can I do, I believe that’s hardwired into, well – me.

Actually, I’ve been hard at work finishing my zombie-horror novel, Barkerton. I started it when I was a young writer and was unable to complete it, although over the years I’d managed to get it up to about 90,000 words – with only about another 10,000 to 15,000 needed to complete it.

Barkerton helped define me as a writer. The process of writing a complete manuscript was daunting. As a lover of movies, I turned to screenwriting, which is a little more controlled; you’re restricted to writing no more than 120 pages if you’re going to make it in that field. It’s not that it’s easy to do, just a little more structured.

My initial failure with Barkerton kept me from writing books, despite the fact I had ideas for novels – ideas that couldn’t be contained in the confines of a movie script. I let those ideas fester; some of them crying out for attention, but ignored.

It wasn’t Barkerton that wasn’t ready, but instead, me. Now that I’ve written three thrillers and finished Barkerton, I’ve come to understand that at the time I embarked on my first novel, I was too immature as a writer. For some people, writing, and writing well, is easy, but not for all of us. When I look back at that early manuscript I understand there is something there, but not something of publishable quality. I needed time to find my voice, and develop my skills; something that screenwriting unexpectedly helped me with.

Barkerton has been re-written and completed, but only because I was finally ready to complete it, and had finally developed the skills that allowed me to complete it. Looking inward and understanding our weakness is something difficult to do. I appreciate the skills I’ve developed, and the fact they’ve been developed, but only now understand it has been part of a lifelong process I couldn’t have hurried, even if I’d want to. Finding your voice as a writer is important and necessary; you’re going to want to share your work, and in doing so, you should make sure you put your best foot forward – if you’re lucky enough to find a readership, they deserve that.

So, whether you’re there or not, keep writing, keep challenging yourself, accept creative criticism and grow; the journey is worth it.