Facing the Unknown – Facing Fears

It’s impossible to know the future. If we did, we could relax. Some would argue that it’s that unknown that makes life so exciting. It’s also that unknown that makes life both frustrating and frightening.

What does the future hold?

Presently with two books available Tripping on Tears and The Merry Pranked – on Amazon-Kindle, and a third thriller pre-ordering June 7th  The Marquis Mark – the task ahead is finding an audience.

How?

There is a way and it can be done, but as I look upon it at this moment, it feels as if I’m standing at the base of a mountain, the summit my goal, and my chances of getting there one in a billion. It’s a daunting proposition at best.

In trying to promote my books, I’m not alone. My wife, who also designed the covers, is helping, but finds herself overwhelmed with the task not only the probability of it, but the unknown can it happen and will it happen? The truth of the matter is no one can tell us about either. We’re facing the great unknown, and at the end of it is either success or failure.

That fear, however, can be crippling. We live in a competitive world, and when it comes to the arts, you’re never alone. Why should someone purchase and read my books instead of another’s? I believe I’m putting out a solid, entertaining, well-written and engaging product, but the truth of the matter is there’s no solid reason as for why they should read mine as opposed to another’s; theirs could be equally well-written and entertaining.

In trying to achieve any dream, there are hurdles, some small, and many grand in scope; in trying to achieve any dream, there are constant fears and frustrations. None of us know the outcome the future, but as I've pointed out to my wife, the only guarantee is, if we do nothing, nothing will happen.

While I don’t offer a great deal of value in this blog post, in venting and outlining these fears that exist, I’m sure many others can relate you’re not alone, and I hope like myself, you find your readers, not only now, but for years to come. Don’t give in to the fears and frustrations, persevere and hope that if your work is good enough, it will eventually find its audience.

Distractions – But the Right Distraction

It's been a while since I've posted to my marketing diary-blog, and while I have been focusing on marketing, fine-tuning what I all ready have online, and looking for new places to create profiles and mention my books, I have also been distracted.

Over two decades ago, I had the idea for a novel – a horror novel to be exact. I wanted to write about racism, but wanted to do it in a creative way. My mind took me to the undead zombies. I decided to write a novel in which the undead, who become reanimated, are not out to kill and eat the living, but are troubled souls who suddenly find themselves trapped in their old, inferior and decayed bodies. The living, having experienced movies about zombies, figures the undead are like they're depicted in them. Because nobody takes the time to communicate, but instead fear one another, or hate one another because of their differences, violence eventually breaks out between the two groups.

When I first started writing this, zombie novels and entertainment was limited; as I attempt to finish the novel, entitled Barkerton (named in tribute to horror writer Clive Barker), I'll look like I'm jumping on an all ready well worn bandwagon. That I don't mind so much. A good story is a good story and will either entertain or not. I'm willing to let it stand on its own.

Barkerton, with its vast scope was the novel that led me to believe I couldn't write novels. I soon turned to screenplays, and became an expert in that medium. Over the years, Barkerton has been my White Whale.

Having written, Tripping on Tears, The Merry Pranked and The Marquis Mark, three books I’m proud of, I finally decided Barkerton was due to be finished. I did all ready have 90,000 words written and was close to the finish after all, and over the years had re-written and polished what I had written, but just couldn't finish it nonetheless.

As I continue promoting my thriller, The Marquis Mark (pre-ordering on Amazon-Kindle and due out on June 7th) and the other books, inspiration for Barkerton has finally arrived; not because I sat down and waited, but because I just began writing, hoping that inspiration would find me; it has. Barkerton isn't finished just yet, but it's very close; and this time I will succeed. I've proven I can write books, and it's time to wipe away that 20-year-plus fear that has stayed my hand in the medium of novels thanks to Barkerton.

Barkerton is definitely a distraction, but one worth indulging, because even though I have written three novels, it is the fear I must finally conquer.

Procrastination

Okay, so it’s been a couple of days since I last posted and aside from having created a press release for my upcoming thriller, The Marquis Mark, I haven't done a lot of promotion. Although, I guess, writing and designing a press release, could be seen as a step forward in this department.

Unless you have the ability to dedicated one-hundred percent of your time to the task of promotion, there are always things that get in the way. Life is like that; and it doesn't have to be big things, so you have to be wary. In many cases it would seem that life is conspiring to keep you where you are; challenging you to overcome its obstacles while in search of your dreams. While that may seem the case, you have to also realize that in marketing your book, you need to bring along the same discipline you found to have completed it in the first place.

In writing my first two novels, Tripping on Tears and The Merry Pranked, I decided to use an approach I'd read in a magazine about writing. What it suggested was setting a word count per day. I did. I expected to sit down and write 1,000 words a day, no matter what, and I did. What I soon discovered was that I'd set a goal for myself that very quickly became rooted in stone. In Tripping on Tears, when I approached the chapter in which Safia had to die the book is about an honor killing, so it was necessary I found myself procrastinating, and for the first time those 1,000 words a day weren't happening. By that time, I'd adopted this approach so fully that I now felt guilty for not writing and promised myself I'd make up the days I'd lost. When it dawned on me that the reason for this was the fact I really didn't want to kill off Safia, I'd enjoyed writing her character so much, that psychologically I didn't want to write the words she was dead, I realized what was holding me back, and I set about writing again, and made up for three to four days of inactivity.

As a former journalist, my life was full of deadlines. To miss a deadline was a sin. As a writer of fiction, I'm left to my own devises, but found creating a daily goal or even deadline for myself encouraged me to move forward. How did this affect creativity and inspiration, well, I believe I'll address that in my next posting, as I don't want to go on too long here.

In marketing The Marquis Mark, I believe I have to create my own 1,000 words a day goal; possibly guaranteeing that I spend one-hour a day researching, reaching out and promoting in order to complete the task that we writers most loath the promoting of our books; sure, it'd be fun to use that hour writing, but probably unwise.

Who Knew Writing the Book was the Easy Part?

Who knew the easy task was the writing of the book?

During my formative years as a writer-journalist, I might not have agreed with the above statement. Like many who dreamt of writing a novel, I found my desk drawers littered with numerous half-finished manuscripts (yes, saying half-finished, might be giving myself a little more credit than is due). I’m sure most of us who write know that initial rush of a new and exciting idea. The characters are fresh, the story, hopefully, compelling, and the promise of what it could become is ripe with possibilities. Ah, yes, but at what chapter does all of that fade and the manuscript put away?

The desire to write is powerful; the discipline to write, for many of us, fleeting. I developed my discipline as a screenwriter, a task I found infinitely easier than writing books, and, in believing that, avoided attempting any further book manuscripts for a long, long time. At least until the insanity that is the film business and those who populate it, drove me in desperation to write something that wouldn't be scrutinized by producers, directors, development executives and their spouses, children, nannies, yoga instructors, etcetera – namely I decided to write a book.

This is not a record of my attempt to write my first book. That ship has sailed. Tripping on Tears is finished, and I’m quite proud of it. The Merry Pranked, my second novel is complete, as is The Marquis Mark, my latest psychological thriller. Both Tripping on Tears and The Merry Pranked were released on Amazon.com, but due to circumstances were not actively promoted. With The Marquis Mark, I plan to change that, and like all indie writers with a digital manuscript, I’m faced with the daunting challenge of finding an audience readership.

I’d never planned on writing a blog, but understand in today’s world of publishing it is important for writers to create a platform for themselves; but what to write about, and what to say? On other parts of my blog, With Malice Toward None , I've included articles I've written on a number of subjects, but in this section I propose to chronicle my attempts to market The Marquis Mark and find that readership. I believe if successful it will also serve to instruct anyone who cares about who I am and how my imagination and thoughts work. While I understand that presently I’m really only writing for myself, for those who join me, it will be a look at a journey towards success or disappointment; and while I hope it is entertaining and insightful, it may also serve as an example of what to do or not to do for those in the same predicament.

I guess, here goes...

The Merry Pranked

***FREE PREVIEW CHAPTERS***

Journalist Leslie Marshall is haunted by his past, and now, as he watches another relationship circle the drain he’s determined to do something about it. Despite having watched his entire family murdered when he was a 10-year-old boy, the killers have never been brought to justice. As Leslie sets out seeking revenge, he finds himself confronted by his father’s long buried secrets—secrets he is forced to confront as he tries to find it within himself to become the killer he needs to be.

Artist Gail Russell also has hidden demons in her closet and a tragic past. Upon meeting Leslie at a Survivor’s of Violent Crime meeting, and at her art gallery exhibit, these two damaged individuals join forces in an unholy alliance of revenge and murder that soon pits them against Morgan Neil, the city’s deadly crime boss.

Trying to solve a series of bizarre murders, unlike any he’s ever seen in his long career with the police force, is Detective Ray Michaels, unaware that some of the city’s oldest sins have finally resurfaced leaving behind a trail of blood.