Facing the Unknown – Facing Fears

It’s impossible to know the future. If we did, we could relax. Some would argue that it’s that unknown that makes life so exciting. It’s also that unknown that makes life both frustrating and frightening.

What does the future hold?

Presently with two books available Tripping on Tears and The Merry Pranked – on Amazon-Kindle, and a third thriller pre-ordering June 7th  The Marquis Mark – the task ahead is finding an audience.

How?

There is a way and it can be done, but as I look upon it at this moment, it feels as if I’m standing at the base of a mountain, the summit my goal, and my chances of getting there one in a billion. It’s a daunting proposition at best.

In trying to promote my books, I’m not alone. My wife, who also designed the covers, is helping, but finds herself overwhelmed with the task not only the probability of it, but the unknown can it happen and will it happen? The truth of the matter is no one can tell us about either. We’re facing the great unknown, and at the end of it is either success or failure.

That fear, however, can be crippling. We live in a competitive world, and when it comes to the arts, you’re never alone. Why should someone purchase and read my books instead of another’s? I believe I’m putting out a solid, entertaining, well-written and engaging product, but the truth of the matter is there’s no solid reason as for why they should read mine as opposed to another’s; theirs could be equally well-written and entertaining.

In trying to achieve any dream, there are hurdles, some small, and many grand in scope; in trying to achieve any dream, there are constant fears and frustrations. None of us know the outcome the future, but as I've pointed out to my wife, the only guarantee is, if we do nothing, nothing will happen.

While I don’t offer a great deal of value in this blog post, in venting and outlining these fears that exist, I’m sure many others can relate you’re not alone, and I hope like myself, you find your readers, not only now, but for years to come. Don’t give in to the fears and frustrations, persevere and hope that if your work is good enough, it will eventually find its audience.

Distractions – But the Right Distraction

It's been a while since I've posted to my marketing diary-blog, and while I have been focusing on marketing, fine-tuning what I all ready have online, and looking for new places to create profiles and mention my books, I have also been distracted.

Over two decades ago, I had the idea for a novel – a horror novel to be exact. I wanted to write about racism, but wanted to do it in a creative way. My mind took me to the undead zombies. I decided to write a novel in which the undead, who become reanimated, are not out to kill and eat the living, but are troubled souls who suddenly find themselves trapped in their old, inferior and decayed bodies. The living, having experienced movies about zombies, figures the undead are like they're depicted in them. Because nobody takes the time to communicate, but instead fear one another, or hate one another because of their differences, violence eventually breaks out between the two groups.

When I first started writing this, zombie novels and entertainment was limited; as I attempt to finish the novel, entitled Barkerton (named in tribute to horror writer Clive Barker), I'll look like I'm jumping on an all ready well worn bandwagon. That I don't mind so much. A good story is a good story and will either entertain or not. I'm willing to let it stand on its own.

Barkerton, with its vast scope was the novel that led me to believe I couldn't write novels. I soon turned to screenplays, and became an expert in that medium. Over the years, Barkerton has been my White Whale.

Having written, Tripping on Tears, The Merry Pranked and The Marquis Mark, three books I’m proud of, I finally decided Barkerton was due to be finished. I did all ready have 90,000 words written and was close to the finish after all, and over the years had re-written and polished what I had written, but just couldn't finish it nonetheless.

As I continue promoting my thriller, The Marquis Mark (pre-ordering on Amazon-Kindle and due out on June 7th) and the other books, inspiration for Barkerton has finally arrived; not because I sat down and waited, but because I just began writing, hoping that inspiration would find me; it has. Barkerton isn't finished just yet, but it's very close; and this time I will succeed. I've proven I can write books, and it's time to wipe away that 20-year-plus fear that has stayed my hand in the medium of novels thanks to Barkerton.

Barkerton is definitely a distraction, but one worth indulging, because even though I have written three novels, it is the fear I must finally conquer.

Buying Reviews...A Moral Dilemma

I'll admit I didn't get a lot done over the Easter Weekend, although I did do a bit of research. Through some Twitter contacts, I discovered there are a few companies on the Internet offering indie authors reviews...but for a fee.

The fee itself is not prohibitive, and reviews are definitely needed on Amazon to help promote your work, but I do have to admit that the payment for reviews structure bothers me; first, because for years I was an entertainment journalist and during that time I would have never accepted a fee for a good review for a movie, book or CD. I'm sure there were many opportunities, like that time a representative for one of the big movie studios handed me a straight-to-video copy of Slumber Party Massacre 3, knowing he was handing me a terrible movie, and a good review was probably next to impossible—it was, unless you're into those kinds of ‘B’ movies. As a reviewer, I felt I had an obligation to whomever read my stuff to at least be honest. I don't know how that honesty works in the pay-for-a-review marketplace.

I'm sure their intentions are honorable, but how do they handle a poorly written manuscript, or one that isn't up to professional standards? Part of being successful in this marketplace has to be proving that your work is worth purchasing; that's why I like the option of allowing potential readers to read the first three chapters. That should at least give them an idea as to whether or not you can write; it will not let them know whether your can plot and whether your plot holds up for a book length manuscript, but, then again, there's always a risk when purchasing a book or going to a movie we just can't love or like them all.

I'd be curious to know what others think. I've read stories about indie bands seeding an audience with people to shout and scream when they know a record company A&R person might be attending that performance, to help stack the deck in their favor. That's not exactly honest, but possibly sometimes we need to stack the deck in our favor if we can it's up to us to make sure that if we do, we provide those we deceived with quality work.

I'm going to attempt the other route looking for honest reviews. That may be naive, but I don't think it's completely impossible. I guess, in time I'll know. And while I'm at it, I'll provide anyone who reads this with a link to the first three chapters of my latest thriller, The Marquis Mark, pre-ordering on Amazon for June 7th, with the hope it might just entice - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25177334-the-marquis-mark

Procrastination

Okay, so it’s been a couple of days since I last posted and aside from having created a press release for my upcoming thriller, The Marquis Mark, I haven't done a lot of promotion. Although, I guess, writing and designing a press release, could be seen as a step forward in this department.

Unless you have the ability to dedicated one-hundred percent of your time to the task of promotion, there are always things that get in the way. Life is like that; and it doesn't have to be big things, so you have to be wary. In many cases it would seem that life is conspiring to keep you where you are; challenging you to overcome its obstacles while in search of your dreams. While that may seem the case, you have to also realize that in marketing your book, you need to bring along the same discipline you found to have completed it in the first place.

In writing my first two novels, Tripping on Tears and The Merry Pranked, I decided to use an approach I'd read in a magazine about writing. What it suggested was setting a word count per day. I did. I expected to sit down and write 1,000 words a day, no matter what, and I did. What I soon discovered was that I'd set a goal for myself that very quickly became rooted in stone. In Tripping on Tears, when I approached the chapter in which Safia had to die the book is about an honor killing, so it was necessary I found myself procrastinating, and for the first time those 1,000 words a day weren't happening. By that time, I'd adopted this approach so fully that I now felt guilty for not writing and promised myself I'd make up the days I'd lost. When it dawned on me that the reason for this was the fact I really didn't want to kill off Safia, I'd enjoyed writing her character so much, that psychologically I didn't want to write the words she was dead, I realized what was holding me back, and I set about writing again, and made up for three to four days of inactivity.

As a former journalist, my life was full of deadlines. To miss a deadline was a sin. As a writer of fiction, I'm left to my own devises, but found creating a daily goal or even deadline for myself encouraged me to move forward. How did this affect creativity and inspiration, well, I believe I'll address that in my next posting, as I don't want to go on too long here.

In marketing The Marquis Mark, I believe I have to create my own 1,000 words a day goal; possibly guaranteeing that I spend one-hour a day researching, reaching out and promoting in order to complete the task that we writers most loath the promoting of our books; sure, it'd be fun to use that hour writing, but probably unwise.

Am I Fooling Myself...Can I Write?

It's Friday night and I've finally managed to find some time to sit down at my laptop and think about writing. Over the past couple of days I haven't done a lot to promote my latest thriller, The Marquis Mark, pre-ordering on Amazon.com (there, I promoted), although I’m guessing finding an audience or readership for the book will be more akin to a marathon than a sprint.

Although we haven’t seen every season, my wife and I are currently watching American Idol. Each year, during the early stages of the competition, we watch the auditions. As the show is entertainment, along with some great singers, they highlight those who are terrible. Some individuals show up for auditions that have no business there; they can't sing, and may even be tone deaf. What is surprising is their reaction; many of them truly believe they're good, if not great. Can't they hear themselves? Watching the show, it's obvious to us that they're fooling themselves. This is a question we must all ask ourselves.

Can I write? Well, yes. If we've all been through high school, we've probably written. The real question is, can I write at a professional level? Am I good enough to be justified in asking readers to spend money on my books? Or, am I tone deaf and fooling myself? Seeing as anyone can self-publish on Amazon.com, that's a fair question we should all ask ourselves.

The truth in my case, is it took time for me to develop my skills. When I look back at early manuscripts or scripts I've written, they're terrible. Along the way, mainly in the screenwriting field, I took a lot of constructive criticism from producers and was pushed to better myself. I didn't believe I got everything right on the first draft, and re-writes weren't required. I was open to the fact I wasn't as good as I thought I was, and because of that I got infinitely better. Feedback I've received from the industry, tells me that, yes, finally, I've reached that professional stage; I can write. I’m not counting the opinion here of family and friends, but working professionals; strangers who don't have to be nice to me.

This is important, as I think writing is something a lot of people marginalize. They don't realize it is a skill one has to work at; there are levels of ability. I've asked myself that American Idol question, I've researched, and I've never believed I knew everything, and as such, I know, after a long time, I've hit that stage where I can write at a professional level. This is important, because it is those who are fooling themselves, or who don't want to work at it, that is creating doubt amongst readers in the self-publishing marketplace. I don't begrudge anyone the desire to write, all I ask is that they respect the craft and strive to provide value, as I'm not only a writer, but also a reader.

If I am wrong, I assume readers will let me know; and seeing how Amazon allows readers to read the first two or three chapters of any book posted, readers can make that determination without spending any hard earned cash. – I'm just hoping that in this vast marketplace, they do me the honor of giving my work a look.

Who Knew Writing the Book was the Easy Part?

Who knew the easy task was the writing of the book?

During my formative years as a writer-journalist, I might not have agreed with the above statement. Like many who dreamt of writing a novel, I found my desk drawers littered with numerous half-finished manuscripts (yes, saying half-finished, might be giving myself a little more credit than is due). I’m sure most of us who write know that initial rush of a new and exciting idea. The characters are fresh, the story, hopefully, compelling, and the promise of what it could become is ripe with possibilities. Ah, yes, but at what chapter does all of that fade and the manuscript put away?

The desire to write is powerful; the discipline to write, for many of us, fleeting. I developed my discipline as a screenwriter, a task I found infinitely easier than writing books, and, in believing that, avoided attempting any further book manuscripts for a long, long time. At least until the insanity that is the film business and those who populate it, drove me in desperation to write something that wouldn't be scrutinized by producers, directors, development executives and their spouses, children, nannies, yoga instructors, etcetera – namely I decided to write a book.

This is not a record of my attempt to write my first book. That ship has sailed. Tripping on Tears is finished, and I’m quite proud of it. The Merry Pranked, my second novel is complete, as is The Marquis Mark, my latest psychological thriller. Both Tripping on Tears and The Merry Pranked were released on Amazon.com, but due to circumstances were not actively promoted. With The Marquis Mark, I plan to change that, and like all indie writers with a digital manuscript, I’m faced with the daunting challenge of finding an audience readership.

I’d never planned on writing a blog, but understand in today’s world of publishing it is important for writers to create a platform for themselves; but what to write about, and what to say? On other parts of my blog, With Malice Toward None , I've included articles I've written on a number of subjects, but in this section I propose to chronicle my attempts to market The Marquis Mark and find that readership. I believe if successful it will also serve to instruct anyone who cares about who I am and how my imagination and thoughts work. While I understand that presently I’m really only writing for myself, for those who join me, it will be a look at a journey towards success or disappointment; and while I hope it is entertaining and insightful, it may also serve as an example of what to do or not to do for those in the same predicament.

I guess, here goes...

The Marquis Mark

***FREE PREVIEW CHAPTERS***

For romance novelist Lewis Hathaway, and other entitled members of the Marquis Club, living their lives embracing the writings and philosophies of the Marquis de Sade, the French nobleman whose work inspired the words sadism and sadist, sets them deliciously apart from the rest of society. When Darlene Beatty, a single mother, becomes trapped within their web of depravity, she finds herself reluctantly heading down a road of violent retribution.

As veteran F.B.I. agent, Casanova “Coop” Braydon deals with his wife’s terminal cancer and the impact it has on his family, for the first time in his career he compromises his integrity and finds himself under the thumb of Claudio Caponi, head of the Anastasia Crime Family, in his bid to deal with an ambitious captain and psychopath, Johnny Roselli.

Realizing the world is full of darkness, both Darlene and Coop find themselves desperate to regain control of their lives, yet unsure of its possibility – a point made clear as their fates converge, and the lines between right and wrong continue to take a murderous turn.